


Double Stuffed?

by alldaluv



Series: Food fics [2]
Category: Food - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Death, Fault, Food, Gay, Gay Sex, Gay Smut, IM BACK :D, Major character death - Freeform, Not, Other, Sad, Sex, Smut, honestly i should just stop talking to lexi she gives me fic ideas, its lexis fault again, my, thats weird, they're oreos this time ;), where theyre foods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:38:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3997501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alldaluv/pseuds/alldaluv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they're Oreos they have sex</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Stuffed?

**Author's Note:**

> i deleted all of the notes. i hate preteen me. read this fic if you cringe at your 13yo self and love oreos!

Liam just got home from work and saw Nelson on their shared king sized bed doing something on the computer. 

"Hey Nel, whatcha doin'?” Liam asked while taking off his tie and shoes. 

"Not much just lookin' for something to watch on Netflix, wanna get comfy then join?" 

"Sure babe," Liam replied with a smile, "I'm hungry, ill go get some snacks from the kitchen first you want anything?" 

"Anything’s fine with me," Nelson said while scrolling through Netflix options.

Liam went to the kitchen and grabbed two cans of orange soda, some chips, a bag of popcorn, chips ahoy cookies and a container of Oreos. 

" This should be good for right now " He said while walking back to Niall. 

Nelson sat up and looked at the selection that Liam brought. 

"YESSS OREOS!!!! I've been wanting some but I was too short to get them off the shelf" 

" Awwww babe that's so adorable," Liam said setting down the snacks and kissing Nelson on the forehead. "So what movie did you choose?"

" Grease, cuz why not ya know?" 

" Ohhh classic I love grease,"Liam said laying down next to Nelson. 

Nelson started the movie and cuddled into Liam while eating some of the chips ahoy since Liam insisted on saving the Oreos till later on in the movie. 

Sandy has just found out that she goes to school with Danny and what his reputation is and is crushed and Nelson and Liam have finished eating all the chips ahoy and most of the chips that Liam brought. 

"Can I pleaseeeeeee have some of the Oreos now Li" Nelson said with his best puppy dog face.

"You know I can't say no to that face sure you can" Liam replied with a laugh while getting the Oreos out. 

"YYYYYAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!" 

"Here take them Imma go to the bathroom."

By the time Liam had come back from using the bathroom Nelson had eaten 2/3 of the package of Oreos and the song grease lightnin' in the movie was about to start. Nelson and Liam reached for two different Oreos till they saw that they were moving closer to each other to the beat of the song.  
"LI, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE THOSE OREOS DOING?!?!" Nelson screamed while dropping him on the bed causing Liam to throw his.  
The Oreos stayed in tempo with the song slightly shifting from side to side while getting closer to each other. Nelson was now basically in Liam’s lap, both of them watching the two Oreos get closer to each other forgetting about the movie entirely. Once the oreos were around an inch away from each other they started talking.  
“’Ello babe, I’m Luke.”  
“I’m Harris” the other oreo replied.  
“LIAM THE FUCKING OREOS ARE TALKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK”  
“NELSON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON I KNOW JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, IM JUST AS CONFUSED AND SCARED AS YOU ARE”  
“I’M SORRY”  
While Nelson and Liam were fighting Harris and Luke had started dancing together to grease lightning, they got closer and closer together. Luke leaned in and kissed Harris. Things where fastly getting heated, it turned into a full on make out session between Luke and Harris and Nelson and Liam had quit fighting and realized what was going on and were very surprised.  
How can oreos move? How can oreos dance? How can oreos make out with eachother? How caN OREOS FUCKING HUMP EACHOTHER THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE LEGS? OR DICKS? OR GENITILIA IN GENERAL??? Were all very good questions going through Liams head at the moment and none of which got answered just the happened.  
“Nel, how the actual fuck, would two oreos have sex!?” Liam asked Nelson as if he knew any more about this topic than Liam did. 

“I don’t know Li, what do you want me to stop them and ask them how they’re able to have sex?”

At this point Harris was coming apart beneath Luke. Literally, crumbs were everywhere.  
“Luke… I’m.. close..” Harris gasped between moans, still crumbling apart right below louis.  
Luke crumbling apart too replies “ It’s okay babe, you can cum, cum for me.”  
And just like that Harris is shooting his cream call over himself and Luke wile crumbling to pieces still. Luke finishes off right after him crushing the small amount of cookie crumbs that used to be Harris in the process. 

Harris, is dead.  
Luke is a crumbling mess, he is sobbing uncontrollably while falling apart because he has just killed his soul mate while having sex with him.  
“Nel, what happened to the other oreo and why is that one crying?”  
“I don’t know, Liam why don’t you go find out. I stopped paying attention to them after they started HAVING SEX ON MY BED? WHO DOES THAT? THEY AREN’T EVEN PEOPLE!!”  
“Okay, chill Nel. I’ll go see why that one’s all sad.” 

Liam scooted over to Luke and asked him what happened.  
“Hey little oreo dude. Can you understand me?” Liam first asked.  
Luke shook signaling yes.  
“What happened to the other oreo? Why you so sad?” 

“We, we were having sex, ya know, and, he started, crum, bling apart, before he creamed. And hi, s orgasm, was too, strong, that, when he, creamed. He died. He crumbled apart, right below me. AND I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING THING TO HELP HIM!” Luke said between hiccups and sobs just a pile of crumbs himself at this point.  
“Wow. I’m sorry man.” Liam replied to the oreo who was a few minutes away from death himself.  
Luke still convulses and sobs over the death of his soul mate whom he killed by having sex with, losing more and more crumbs as he does so. Liam can’t do anything to help him, honestly, how do you save a cookie from dying? You can’t you just have to let it die, let it do it’s own thing. 

Luke. He is now also dead. 

Both oreo lovers, killed by their own lovemaking being too strong. 

 

Liam went back over to Nelson who was still watching Grease and said.  
“Babe, we are never getting oreos ever again.”

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry


End file.
